Learning to Love Again
by Sab0511
Summary: After a family emergency forces Sonny to move home, she breaks up with Chad. Almost two years later, Chad shows up at her college to film a movie along with the other Randoms, Sonny will have to choose what she wants most in the world.


I was getting on the cross town bus when my mother called to give me to the news.

"Sonny, I just got a phone call from your father," she said, "we are moving home."

My heart dropped, turned out my father had went to the emergency room, really nauseous. He'd walked out with a grim diagnoses, pancreatic cancer, he only had six months to live. Over the next week I had to do some of the hardest things possible at that time, I had to break up with the one person who meant almost as much to me as my father.

Chad Dylan Cooper.

"Chad," I said as I walked into his dressing room, I had access whenever I wanted, I was the only person allowed.

"Hey, Sonny," Chad said, coming over to give me a hug and kiss. "I've missed you."

"Chad," I said, I was starting to sob, he hugged me even tighter.

"Sonny, what is it?"

I told him, and he held me tighter. We ended up falling asleep on his couch that night. We didn't break up that night.

Six months after I left So Random! and Chad, my father passed away, my cast members and Chad flew out to be with me, I was suppose to sit with my family, but I ended up sitting between Tawni and Chad, who had one arm over my shoulder and held my during the whole thing. Nico and Grady set behind me and gripped my shoulder from time to time. Zora set there with tears in her eyes, how ever crazy she might be, she was emotional when something happened to her friends.

They left a few days later, they'd gave me an invitation to come back to the show if I wanted. I couldn't, I was needed here, mom needed my help getting things in order. I also did what I'd need to do for months.

"Chad," I said while we where up in my room alone. "I think we need to break up."

He looked at me, confusion where in his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, but we live in two different worlds, I'm a Wisconsin girl, you are a Hollywood boy. The greatest actor of our generation."

He didn't say anything, he just walked away. I cried myself to sleep for weeks after that.

A year after my father's passing I talked to my mother about going to college, she'd set back some of my So Random! money, some of what my father had left us and I had enough to cover a few years of college, so I started at University of Wisconsin- River Falls, just 25 miles from St. Paul, Minnesota.

I chose to major in Theater Arts and a minor in Digital TV and Film, what could I say, you could take the girl out of Hollywood, but you can't take Hollywood out of the girl.

Other things I did so I wasn't recognized as Sonny Monroe where put blond hi-lights in my hair and cut it off to shoulder length. I also changed my name from Sonny to Ali.

Today was my first day of college, I was moving into Parker Hall, the once women only, now coed hall. Everywhere I looked, there where people moving in, friends helping returning students move their stuff. I was alone, my mother hadn't been able to leave the farm, leaving me to move my stuff in alone. I located my dorm.

On the third floor!

I lugged the fridge up first, getting the heavy things out of the way. I got to the room and found that my roommate wasn't there yet. We hadn't talked over the summer, so I hadn't meet her yet. I knew her name was Anna Rolland. That was all, and I really hoped she wasn't a So Random! or Mackenzie Falls fan. Then I'd be screwed.

I didn't have to wait long for Anna Rolland to show up, just an hour after I had all my stuff moved in from my truck moved in, she walked in.

"Hi, you must be Allison Monroe."

"Yea, it's nice to meet you," I extended my hand and gave her a firm handshake. I went back to trying to put my room in order, putting up my pictures and various other stuff.

"So, what is your favorite shows?"

"Oh, I really like So Random!"

"Oh, that's cool, what about Mackenzie Falls?"

"I'm more into comedy than drama," I said, if Chad had heard me, he'd have flipped his top then kissed me. My heart hurt thinking about him.

"You don't mind if I put up a poster of Chad Dylan Cooper, I think he's so hot and an amazing actor."

I almost gagged, but allowed her to put the poster up, trying to persuade her that putting it out of my line of sight was best, but there wasn't a good place, I realized I'd have to look at Chad every day until I went home. I sighed in defeat.

"So, you want to go to dinner?" Anna asked. I nodded and we went.

I'd forgot what it was like to perform in my day to day life, but as soon as I hit my acting one class, I was off, I still leaned towards comedy, but was finding that drama was pretty fun to mess up as well. I was a bit worried when I walked into class and the first thing out of my teachers mouth was tell us about your previous acting experience, but I flew through that, with ad lib. Nobody knew I had been on So Random!

I'd made some new friends, some friends from acting and communications, Kara was a communication major, one year ahead of me, but we had classes together. She was a huge Mackenzie Falls fan and got along with Anna, who watched Mackenzie Falls every week, and sometimes in between, she had the Mac Falls box set.

It was nice to watch it every once and awhile, my box set was at home with mom, who was still addicted to the show. Watching the Falls let me see Chad, the man who still had my heart.

"Ali," I glanced up to Tommy, a friend from my acting and comm classes, he was majoring in comm and minoring in theater, running towards me. "Oh, my god, you won't guess what I just heard."

I listened for awhile, there was going to be a movie shot here at UWRF. I listened as he rattled on about the plot, but the names almost made me faint.

"It seems like the entire cast of So Random! will be playing in the movie, Tawni Hart is the female lead, but the male lead is Chad Dylan Cooper."

That did it, my knees locked up. I had to sit down on the bench behind me.

"Ali, you okay?"

I nodded, to afraid to talk, afraid that I'd throw up. Just like Chad had on our first date. I'd been a mess that night, but he'd been so sweet after that, getting me that sign that said he was a fool for Sonny. I still had pictures of that billboard, even though I'm sure it was long gone by now.

Tommy said good-bye as I managed to get up and head back to my dorm. Anna was abuzz and I walked in, she was talking about the movie, I knew that things didn't stay secret for long around there. I wondered how long I'd stay a secret.

The movie was set to start filming here next week, and I could tell the campus was getting ready for Hollywood royalty to arrive. Thank god it was only for six weeks then I could get back to my ordinary life.

I'd seen banners up all over the place, welcoming Chad, Tawni, Nico, Grady and Zora. I ignored them, until I'd been informed that I'd be required to spend a few days on set to learn for my major and minor. That sucked. But maybe they wouldn't recognize me, it had been a year since I'd last seen them in person.

"Ali," my communication teacher Dave said. "Here is your press pass, that only allows you to enter, it's got your name and picture on it when they scan it."

I nodded and thanked him. I took the pass and went back to my room.

I saw the poster of Chad and my heart speed up, I'd been so stupid to break it off with him. I set down on my bed and saw that I had a missed call, I didn't recognize the number. I didn't bother to call them back.

A week later, I was part of the welcome committee that was to welcome the group, when the president of the college ran up to me.

"Allison, Miranda got sick, can you be a tour buddy?"

"Sure," I said and was dragged away. Please don't let me have-

"Mr. Cooper, this is Allison Monroe, she'll be your tour buddy for the time being. She's a theater major and communication's minor, so she'll probably be asking you questions as well, so have a great time here and let me know if your dorm room isn't up to par."

I gulped, I was just placed with my ex-boyfriend, who may or may not recognize me.

"Hello, Sonshine."

Damn, he recognized me. A packet of papers was shoved into my hands by a passing RA, I presumed this was Chad's rooming assignment for the duration of his stay. I looked and saw that he was in Parker 305, my floor and right next door to me.

"Here's you're key, Mr. Cooper," I said trying to maintain a professional attitude towards him. I stuck my hand out. "I'm Ali Monroe."

"You can call me Chad, Sonny."

"I don't know Sonny anymore. I'm Ali and if you want me to speak to you, you will address me as such."

"Look who's gotten a Hollywood attitude here in Wisconsin."

"I learned from the best, the greatest actor of our generation," was all I said before I turned so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes.

"You still think of me, then," Chad said, I was walking away, he ran to follow me, I was on the other side of campus from my dorm and had to catch on of the trolleys that went to that side.

"Come on, Mr. Cooper," I said, "we have a trolley to catch."

"A trolley?"

I nodded and lead the way. We had to wait for the trolley which finally came, ten minutes later, I almost had to push Chad on the trolley. He wouldn't go willingly.

"Damn it, Chad," I said, letting my cool demeanor slip. "Just get on the trolley or you are walking."

"But other people have set there," Chad said. I was getting pissed, I had class in twenty and needed to get things ready.

"Chad, quite being a baby and get your ass on this trolley, I have class I need to get to," I gave him the death glare, he gulped and reluctantly got on the trolley.

I sat there while Chad grumbled about the trolley, five minutes worth of grumbling and I was going to kill him. I hopped off the trolley and walked to my room.

"So," Chad said, "I guess I'm suppose to go to classes with you, Sonny."

I ignored him.

"I mean Ali, I'm suppose to go to classes with you."

I shoved the key into my door and went in, Anna wasn't in the room. There would have been major chaos had she been.

"Fine, just watch what I do and try to blend in."

"Me, blend in, that's kind of a hard thing to do."

I frowned and walked back out of the room. I couldn't believe that I still liked this boy. I locked the door behind me and Chad followed me to my class.

Class, ha, what had went on today was Chad's dream world, the class had done nothing but fawn over Chad, I'd just pouted in the back corner of the room and waited until it was all over. Chad had tried to tell the class what happened to make him look perfect, I wanted to yell at him, but I was quiet and waited until we where back in the privacy of my room before I let it lose on him.

"I can't believe you, Mr. Cooper, you marched into class and acted like you owned the place. Around here, Chad, you are a lowly nobody, you have to learn to fit in and act like one of your peers. How do you plan to play a character when you can't even be like one in real life?"

He stepped closer to me, I took a quick intake of breath.

"I'm an actor Sonny, I have acted my whole life. I don't know how to be anything but an actor."

"It's always about you, Chad, and about how cool you are and how you look, you may think that you only know how to be the actor Chad Dylan Cooper, but where is the man that I dated, he sure isn't the boy standing in front of me."

Chad looked in my eyes, then stormed out, I heard the door next to me slam and knew he'd gotten back to his room in one piece. Tears where betraying how I felt at this moment and I really wanted to call my mom and see what she thought.

So I picked up my phone and called her.

"Hi, Sonny," my mom said, she was the only person allowed to call me Sonny.

"Hi, mom," I said, trying to keep the sobs out of my voice.

"What's wrong?" She always knew when something was wrong.

I launched into the story, telling her everything I could think of. I didn't leave a part out.

"What should I do, mom?"

"Sonny, I really don't know, you love him, he's your first love, that's not something you can get over. Would it help if you talked to Tawni?"

"I haven't talked to her in over a year, and what do you mean I love him?"

"Oh, sweetie, you have always had your brown eyes set on him. You've loved him from the moment you meet him that first day at the studio, now, what are you going to do about it?"

"Absolutely not a thing, I don't love him anymore, he's just that fling from Hollywood."

"Sonny, when your father passed away, it broke my heart, but he didn't have a choice to leave me, you on the other hand, are making that choice for both you and Chad, you aren't even giving him the choice of what he wants. You can't always make the choice's, Sonny, remember that."

I hung up with her after we said good-bye and went to bed.

My mom said that I had a choice in who I dated, who I loved, so why did it have to be the most self-centered, egotistical and jerk face man I'd ever had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting? Can somebody please tell me why I fell hard for Chad Dylan Cooper?

Anna woke me up early that morning. She'd seen Chad, why was I not surprised. He'd had to get up to use the restroom, but really had he felt the extreme pleasure of saying hi to my roommate just so she'd wake me up screaming.

"Oh, My, God!" Anna came in yelling, I pulled a pillow over my head. "Chad Dylan Cooper said hi to me this morning, I'm so calling Tori over this."

Anna talked for fifty minutes to her best friend from home on a Saturday morning while I wasn't allowed to sleep in, I got out of bed and marched over to Chad's room.

"What, I'm getting beautiful." I heard from his room, I pounded on his door harder. Finally he opened his door.

"Do you know what I like about Saturday mornings?"

"No, what?"

"I get to sleep in, like past 8 in the morning, but no, you had to say good morning or hi or something to Anna and now she's been on the phone since seven this morning gushing about you."

"Sonny," he started.

"Ali," I corrected.

"Ali, Sonny, what the hell ever, I'm sorry that I ruined your perfect life, I'm sorry we ever meet because really I only acted like I_ liked _ you."

My heart hit the floor at the same point that my hand slapped his face. The slap gave a resounding note of sharpness, one that I knew Chad would be reeling from for days, Chad Dylan Cooper wasn't going to forget that he'd scorned Allison Monroe any time soon.

"Sonny, I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean it, my-" Chad said, trying to cover his ass.

"Shut up, Chad Dylan Cooper, you said what you needed to say, now stay the hell away from Ali Monroe."

I stormed off.

"Fine," I heard Chad yell behind me.

"Fine," I turned around to yell at him.

"Good," he said

"Fan-fucking-tastic," I spiced it up a bit, Chad looked hurt. Mom had said I was the only person making the decisions, well, Chad had made his own, by saying that he'd only acted as if he'd liked me.

It didn't set in that I'd just hurt the one person I'd loved most in my life, until a few day's after the argument. After the fight, I'd gotten in my truck and drove home. Going home had been a relief for me, being able to smell the farm, help mom with the work, it made me feel whole again, she never once asked why I was home though, I had a feeling she knew because her Mac Falls box set was no where to be found.

Anna had called my phone worried about me when she couldn't find me Sunday evening. Even the jerk of all Hollywood play-boy had called to check on me and when he couldn't get a hold of me, he'd called my mother who reassured him that I was fine and that I'd be back sometime in the next few days.

I took a few days off from school, hoping that Chad would realize just how much he needed me, but I knew in my heart that I was replaceable and was probably replaced before I'd even got off campus.

Monday I got up with the sun and rode out to my favorite place on the farm, in the last year I'd dreamed about bringing Chad to this place, it was a lake, one that almost mirrored the sky, it was that clear. Today, it was iced over, not enough to skate on, but still gorgeous non the less. I'd found it one day while riding my ATV and I'd started coming out here after my father had gotten sick, when I'd been trying to figure out what to do about Chad.

I might have not known what to do about Chad at the time, but I was getting a grip on my current life, one that was going to have to change, I wasn't happy at school, I'd never planned on going to college, with my father getting sick, I'd figured that I was needed here and I didn't need to be chasing after a pipe dream.

I got on my ATV and rode home, realizing what I had to do to some degree.

"Mom," I yelled, I heard her coming down stairs. When she appeared, I told her what I wanted to do, she wasn't to happy, but she understood that this was my life, and I'd given up a lot to help her around here.

Next I made the phone calls that needed to be made and soon everything was in place, I'd be moving away from Wisconsin at the beginning of the year.

I was standing outside Zora and Tawni's room, a week after I'd made the arrangements that would send me to a new place, but I couldn't leave without saying good-bye to my old friends.

"Yes," Tawni said as she opened the door, "Sonny?"

"Hi, Tawni."

"I was expecting some food, I ordered it like two days ago and it still hasn't gotten here."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that what ever she'd ordered, she'd never get, the school didn't have room service. I smiled as Zora came running into view.

"Sonny!" She ran up to me and gave me a hug. We embraced and then I sat down and we talked for hours. We never approached the subject of Chad Dylan Cooper. I never told them about my plans, but I told them about everything that had happened recently, how I liked school here and how my classes where, they told me about the new Random that had replaced me, and how they wanted her out, she was nothing but a Chad wanna be.

Nico and Grady joined us later and we chatted well into the night.

Time flies when you are having fun is what I've been told, yea, don't believe them, time flies when you start dreading certain things.

I'd been replaced as Chad's chaperone for the trip. Anna had been given the honors, which I gladly handed over to her. I couldn't deal with Chad's attitude, he had changed, he'd become more laid back, maybe it was because he was getting familiar with the campus that he felt he could be more chilled, and a lot more of a jerk towards me. Of course, even though I hated him, I still had to tell him that I was going far away.

I knocked at his door, which almost immediately opened to reveal him.

"Ali, what do you want?"

"Actually, you can call me Sonny."

"Sonny, to what do I owe this pleasure?" In that one simple name changed, Chad's attitude changed and it was a big notice.

"I can't grace you with my company, a couple of years ago, you enjoyed it. Enjoyed it so much that you acted like you _liked _me."

"Sonny, I tried to explain, I was upset and flustered and pissed that you could have such an attitude towards me. Me, the person who changed just to be with you, I wore a jester hat just for you, I put the picture up on a billboard, exclaiming that I'd be a fool for you whenever your brown eyes made me become the fool that I am around you."

"Chad, I didn't come here to hash over old memories, I came to let you know that I'm leaving."

"Oh, you are going home?"

"Well, if you mean back to my parents than no, they say home is where the heart is, so I'm letting my heart lead me for awhile."

"Where you going?" His voice softened to wonder and confusion.

"You already know," I said and walked back to my room.

Not five minutes after I got back to my room, somebody was pounding on my door, and I knew who that somebody was, I ignored it.

Anna got off her bed and went to get the door. Chad came rushing in.

"Now, wait a minute Sonny, you can't just leave me with a 'you already know' and walk out of my room."

"Why are you here," I asked as I was folding clothes, the semester was almost over and I was packing to move on.

"Anna, could you please leave?"

"No, Chad," I turned around, he couldn't kick her out of her own room. "It's her room too, she can stay. Now, why are you here?"

"Because, I've tried to get over you, and I can't. Sonny, I can't get over you, you said that the home is where the heart is, well, my heart is in this room." He walked closer, he was just a whisper away. Anna cleared her throat.

"I'm just going to leave," she said as she ran out of the door. It must be hard that her roommate was getting ready to kiss the man of her dreams. Of course, if I could get away with it, I wasn't kissing him, I'd slap him again before I kissed him again.

"Sonny, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to tell you that I acted like I liked you. I really couldn't act like that, Sonny, you are the person I want to be with most in this world. I've let you have the time, but I mentioned that Wisconsin would be a great place to film because that's where my heart is, it's yours, always, my heart has been with you since I first saw you on the studio lot."

"I can't forgive you," I whispered just as his lips brushed across mine. My arms wrapped around his neck, I could forgive him, but could I trust him again. My head was saying no, my heart was saying yes, oh yes, I could trust him. Which could I trust, it had now become a battle my head and my heart, and I knew which one I wanted to win.

I was putting the finishing touches on my new apartment when I heard a buzz from my buzzer. I put the last of the books in my book case and went to the box.

"Hello," I said into my speaker box.

"Let us in," Tawni said, I smiled, Marshall must have just told them. I buzzed them in and I could almost hear the thud of their shoes and they came up the stairs.

I opened the door before they could knock.

"Sonny, Marshall came to talk to Zoe and told her that she was off the show, because you where coming back," Zora said.

"I didn't like that girl," Tawni said.

"Need I remind you that you didn't like me," I said.

"Yea, but you are my best friend now."

"Dude," Grady said to Nico, "Zoe wasn't even cute. Marshall needs to bring in one single, hot lady for us, no, make that two so we don't fight over her."

"But we have Sonny back, how awesome is that," Nico said. "I'll order pizza!"

Nico ordered Hawaiian pizza for me, and pepperoni for the others, then I grabbed five dollars and put it with the other money and together we waited for the pizza to arrive.

I showed my friends around my apartment, they where excited to find a spare bedroom for them to crash in from time to time. Tawni called first crash.

"So," Zora said. "What about you and a certain blond haired blue eyed dude from a rival show?"

"Me and Chad, I really don't know, I mean, I'm still not over him, he was my first love, but I haven't seen him since I got here, I never even got around to telling him that I was returning to work finally. We where to busy doing other stuff."

"Spill sister," Tawni said.

"Kissing and holding each other and stuff like that, Monday when I walk into the commisionary, it's going to be a surprise to him and all of the falls cast that I'm back at chuckle city."

"You kissed and forgot to tell," Nico said.

"Well, I'm still trying to figure out what we are."

"You two are the perfect couple, you balance each other out, drama to comedy ratio is just right, light to dark hair is perfect, you two are so perfect together, it just took you so long to realize that then your father got sick and you had to move home," Grady said.

I looked at the floor, I was afraid they'd see the tears that where threatening to leak out of my eyes.

"But, I just don't know if I can forgive him for what he said."

"What did jerk face say," Nico inquired.

"Oh, I guess I didn't tell you what prompted me to move back to Hollywood," I told them the story.

"He really told you that?" Tawni asked, "that's something I'd say."

I sighed, I didn't know what to do.

Monday came and I was back in my old dressing room. Tawni was even being nice, no exercise equipment in my area this time around.

"Oh, mi, god, you really are back!" Tawni exclaimed as she came in.

"Tawni, I told you that I was back," I said.

"I just didn't want to believe it until I saw you in this dressing room. Oh, I would have moved the exercise machines in but I wasn't sure you'd actually be coming back."

I shook my head and laughed, Tawni and I walked with our arm's linked to the commisionary. We set down with our friends and waited for a certain blond haired boy to walk in so they could laugh at his facial expression when he saw me.

It didn't take long, Chad walked in with the cast five minutes after we set down. He looked around and came over to us.

"Randoms," he said from behind me, he hadn't noticed me yet. The others smiled at him. "You're all freaks," he said with confusion lacing his voice.

"No, Chad, we aren't the freaks, you are," Zora said.

"Well, we got Zoe," Chad argued back.

"So, we have your girlfriend," Tawni said and I turned around.

"Hello Chad," I said.

"So... Sonny," Chad's jaw dropped to the floor and we laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the newest Random, hello, I'm Sonny Monroe," I smiled at him. He ran his hand through his short hair and extended his other hand, I took it and he pulled me into a hug. It felt amazing to be back in his arms.

"Sonny," he whispered, still holding me. "I've sure missed you."

"Me too, Chad, me too."

He let me go and I set back down with the Randoms, Chad pulled up a chair next to us and set with us, even sharing laughs with us. I was home again and it felt great.


End file.
